i hate people that i don't like telling me what to do. I wanted a hobby and the pressures lifted from my shoulders. I can sympathize with the husband, you sound like you talk a lot about what you need or want to do then you just don't do it or do it very very slowly. So that the sentence becomes: NOTE: If the word dislike feels a bit washed down when spoken, the stress can be placed on the first syllable "dis" if there is a need to stress the "don't" in the original sentence to emphasize the emotion. This is especially true if you're a coach, and it's your job to tell people when you see them sabotaging themselves, or you notice that … Given that, the correct forms for your initial sentences are: I don't like people's telling me what to do. Is it "people" or "people telling me what to do" for the verb like? That is to say: I don't like people tell me what to do. Rather than reducing smoking behavior, these ads sometimes cause people to want to smoke more! I will never commit suicide but damn, I have never felt so close to actually wanting to... Now most days I constantly feel aggression to the highest degree. Besides, telling people and speaking … We would call that person a fool. This article really helped me understand the upset reaction that some people have over being told what to do. So the phrase "telling me what to do" is a gerund, a phrase that is built on a verb but acts as a noun. That compulsion not to do what people tell me, to avoid tic repetitions, makes me constantly keep pushing the edges. This seems to have arisen from assuming that English grammar must be the same as Latin grammar. Even people you’ve never met in posts like this one. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. By: Stephanie Tuesday July 4, 2017 comments Tags: Mindset, Customer Service, Public relations, leadership, Customer retention Sometimes, you need to tell people things they don't want to hear. Why it happens is easy to see and all is explained here. Everywhere I am, people are telling me what to do and are rude to me. By using our site, you acknowledge that you have read and understand our Cookie Policy, Privacy Policy, and our Terms of Service. How do I correctly identify the object in a sentence? You may find that the other person didn’t realize you weren’t finished speaking, or your colleague was so excited about your idea that she enthusiastically jumped into the conversation. People also love these ideas. In fact, this angry reaction is one of the reasons why our efforts to reach our goals can fall short or even backfire. I Don't Like Anybody Telling Me What to Do' Tim Allen: ‘I’m Really an Anarchist. so what you have to say is. (1)"I don't like people telling me what to do"=>"I don't like being told what to do" (correct) *Is (2) correct? Maybe their parents are actually trying to protect them from drunk driving or going to jail. I don't care if someone say's that I look like the best looking guy in the world (not that I do). Physicists adding 3 decimals to the fine structure constant is a big accomplishment. In this case, I concede that the first sentence, though grammatically correct, sounds awkward. And NO it's not because I don't want to work, which is what I think is being insinuated, it's because I want my life to be driven by me and me alone. Do I have to incur finance charges on my credit card to help my credit rating? 1. This type of reaction is called “direct restoration.” Other options include deciding to like the prescribed action; in other words, changing your mind about how you feel about seatbelts or thinking, “I wanted to start wearing my seatbelt anyway!” Or, lastly, denying that a threat to freedom ever existed in the first place. Hopefully, there will be a replicable study soon but if not, thanks for the insight! Dont know what i'm doing wrong, i'm being myself, i'm just a shy and quiet guy, maybe a Little uncertain, but it really feels like nobody likes me and nobody is on my side. Don’t Tell Me What to Do By Glenn October 13, 2014 January 21, 2017 Rants. Scientists have a term for this: psychological reactance. The object of don't like in. I try to not nag and boss around my husband and he has learned that if he doesn't do stuff and it annoys me then I will do … Scientists have a term for this: psychological reactance. Psychological reactance is our brain’s response to a threat to our freedom. I know I wont ever do it because I love my siblings and wouldn't dare do such a thing to them. Steindl, C., & Jonas, E. (2012). however, i felt like i was a coward for being unable to actually do it and for doubting if I would actually die. You don’t feel positive after talking to them. Depression is nothing you should be ashamed of! They tell you what to do, who to be, and how to live. Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience. Do you have any real accomplishments? What do you do when you feel an urge to rebel or feel angry in response to others telling you what to do? "That's too heavy, get a boy to lift it.) Of course it's not a single noun; it has internal structure. 4 Reasons Why You Should Express Gratitude Every Day, Psychology Today © 2020 Sussex Publishers, LLC, A Memory Exercise to Rekindle Your Relationship’s Romance, CBT-E and FBT for Adolescents With an Eating Disorder, Noise Pollution Hampers Animal Communication. Your final examples are grammatically incorrect and sound awkward to a native English speaker. that's because English needs more little words and has more restrictions on verbs than Chinese. Is it out of control? Saved by Publius. Psychological reactance and promotional health messages: The effects of controlling language, lexical concreteness, and the restoration of freedom. Human Communication Research, 33(2), 219-240. If told to wear your seat belt, you might leave it unbuckled on purpose. Technically, the grammar of your initial examples is incorrect. It could either mean, I will assume the second meaning. don't you see me as an equal?" I don't suppose it can be an AP. It's interesting because this reaction really only happens on an individual level. I just wish my father would give me the time to recollect and find myself. Posted Jul 02, 2018 ... “Honey, I’d like to vent about something. You are not alone. Even among my children, if I tell them as a group about chores and responsibilities they react much differently then one on one. “Whenever I discuss X, people don't know what I'm talking about” — why the progressive tense? Don't tell me what to do! Ever notice how some of the NASTIEST people out there have TONS of friends? Introduction to protein folding for mathematicians. English Language & Usage Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for linguists, etymologists, and serious English language enthusiasts. What I was trying to capture is that (my introspection tells me). Drawing a Venn diagram with three circles in a certain style. This tells you one thing: People generally don’t care how nice you are. I would like to point out, though, that the article you linked does refer to this as a. Almost every woman I have ever known has been in this situation. Minors could reframe the suggestions instead of rebelling against them. I don't know. It hurts to be estranged from our kids. In a few cases (such as our first example here, or. My manager (with a history of reneging on bonuses) is offering a future bonus to make me stay. Anyone ever have a similar experience? However this backfired, I've got more weight on my shoulders than ever before, my dad will constantly start every conversation with "Can I suggest" followed with some job opportunity or career path. If there is an office memo that says instructs a everyone what to do or if there is a group being told what to do (at least for me) I don't get that reaction. That’s been one of the slogans of our modern Western culture. Wrong. It is indeed a rule, in the sense of something that has been taught as such. To subscribe to this RSS feed, copy and paste this URL into your RSS reader. It's now been a year and I've finally found my calling but every time I have a good day and start working on it, it's clamped down on by a "Suggestion" which turns my good day in to a day of isolation and suicidal thoughts. I Don’t Like Anybody Telling Me What to Do’) is free and open source. Don't tell me what to do! How many FIDE rated games are played per year? And thinking on the times I have gave my children group instructions she gets irritated and responds back like I am talking only to her. But if I say anything he takes it personally and goes out of his way to not speak to me (Happened several times). I feel the need to prove that I can do the same things that they can do. How do I find housemates who are like this: If I want something done, I do it. Your partner replies, “I thought you were on a diet. No eating out!”. Ever wonder why it’s so hard to get the guy you want or like and at the same time there’s another guy chasing you that you don’t want. Of course it's not a single noun; it has internal structure. In the case of people, the form without the possessive is overwhelmingly more common, but both are still grammatical. How does the compiler evaluate constexpr functions so quickly? I’ve noticed that my brain has reactance in response to the smallest threats. Stack Exchange network consists of 176 Q&A communities including Stack Overflow, the largest, most trusted online community for developers to learn, share their knowledge, and build their careers. Don't bug me! Have other people steered you the wrong way? Don't get on my case! That is interesting to think about in terms of communication with her even when it is not explicitly with her. rev 2020.12.4.38131, The best answers are voted up and rise to the top, English Language & Usage Stack Exchange works best with JavaScript enabled, Start here for a quick overview of the site, Detailed answers to any questions you might have, Discuss the workings and policies of this site, Learn more about Stack Overflow the company, Learn more about hiring developers or posting ads with us, @JohnLawler: yes, I think you're right. What are the objects of like and with? Who Most Wants to Get Back Together With an Ex? Bessarabova, E., Fink, E. L., & Turner, M. (2013). Is my garage safe with a 30amp breaker and some odd wiring. is the noun phrase people telling me what to do. i'm in year 11 at school and went through a really rough year in year 9 in which i now realise that i had depression. From then on I decided I want a year off to recollect myself and enjoy my life as I've been working 6 day weeks for a 7 years. (2)"How do you avoid being bitten by mosquitoes?" Most people are self-absorbed jerks who only seem to care about gossiping and acting like idiots." How can I deal with a professor with an all-or-nothing grading habit? The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. If you don't share what you're going through with anyone, you will have to deal with it yourself and believe me - it takes a lot of strenght to get yourself out of that state of mind. Scientists Pinpoint Gut Bacteria Associated With Depression, 7 Basic Personality Ingredients of Difficult People. What is a "constant time" work around when dealing with the point at infinity for prime curves? But boy this bugs me. Its being singled out that creates the reaction. I quit my primary job of 6 years to work else where, however I was still in the 3rd month probation of this newer job. The example of someone trying to lose weight and getting mad at their partner for helping is completely relatable. 7 Tips for Telling People Things They Don't Want to Hear. Even my friend is like, "we don't look alike." But hey, I don't need family support, I don't want your brownie points but STOP putting me down with your non-stop suggestions of how to lead my life. by Marie T. Russell. Listening to suggestions is out of the question at this point. Dillard, J. P., & Shen, L. (2005). For example, when my husband says, “What’s the plan for this evening?” instead of simply responding with “no plans” or with whatever the plan actually is, I find myself feeling a bit panicked, as if him asking the question is going to lock me into something I do not want to do. However, it's ambiguous. For example, Cacaiola advises you to tell that person, “When you cut me off in meetings, I feel like you don’t value my contributions.” Then, take a moment and wait for their response. She doesn't enjoy group activities very much at all. But the problem could just be misperception. The objects are "you telling me what to do" and "people telling me what to do", not "people" or "you". That’s why I love running my own business, have a polyamorous relationship, and wear weird clothes that often make people stare. Saying 'I can’t' suggests that you’re not willing to do what it takes to get the job done. everyday on my way to school i would think about ending my life . "I hardly ever meet anyone I can relate to. Anti-Media Radio airs weeknights at 11 pm … It has recently occurred to me that I am adverse to people telling me what to do. I just don’t like them being shoved down my throat. How does turning off electric appliances save energy. Well let’s assess your life. It's that inner teenager that most of us still carry around inside. I don't like people telling me what to do; is the noun phrase people telling me what to do. How do I handle a piece of wax from a toilet ring falling into the drain? I don’t … “Don’t let anyone tell you what to do”. You may think I am just a rebellious, non-compliant, cranky old codger. If I can think differently about the question when my husband asks me “what’s the plan,” I might be able to spare myself from those brief, negative thoughts and emotions. She'd order me to do it or make it seem like a travesty that I wasn't already working on it. But nobody who tells you what to do actually knows what’s best for you. As someone who is trying to lose weight, I fall short and cheat from time to time, and if a friend were to say "aren't you on a diet?" Why put a big rock into orbit around Ceres? Some people were born to serve others. I'm fed up with your telling me what to do. — I don’t like YOU telling me what pass word that I can’t use!!! There has been a tradition of asserting (generally on no evidence) that the first form (without the possessive) is "wrong". It has been a year of constant suggestions and I felt I've not had a break. Some more syntactic gymnastics is required to move what, and add complementizers and auxiliaries all around. The rest of what I was going to say about the construction of your replacements is nicely said by John Lawler :-). Shen, L. (2010). Navigating Social Interaction in a World With COVID-19, What Angry Patients Need from Skilled Clinicians, “Agree to Disagree” Is Not an End, It’s a Beginning. Kids These Day: How Youth Behavior Really Stacks Up. Why are so many people drawn to conspiracy theories in times of crisis? So now that we have that let's look at the respective gerunds: I don't like dislike people telling me what to do. In the former case it's a direct-object gerund, and in the latter there's a object of a preposition gerund (the preposition being with and object being you). Scientists are working on discovering other ways to avoid or reduce psychological reactance. One study found that telling participants that “they are free to decide for themselves what is good for them” after being told to do a specific health behavior, like flossing their teeth or wearing sunscreen, was able to reduce reactance (Bessarabova, Fink, & Turner, 2013; Miller et al., 2007). Like, for instance, needs a to complementizer in front of an infinitive object, @ColinFine Hmm. Every time you break the law you pay, and every time you obey the law you pay. Both you telling me what to do and your telling me what to do are grammatical, but they have different structures: the first is a noun phrase consisting of the head you and the modifier telling me what to do (an adjectival phrase); the second is a noun phrase consisting of the head telling me what to do and the modifier your; so telling has a different syntactic function in the two cases. It doesn't match his expectations of me becoming an accountant or what ever but now I'm in the mindset that suicide would be real freedom because I made this decision for myself and not any one else. Will Trump's Twitter Feed Have Unexpected Boomerang Effects. What reasons might the other one have?—Perspective taking to reduce psychological reactance in individualists and collectivists. Psychology (Irvine, Calif.), 3(12A), 1153. And that action is "telling me what to do". Since like takes a gerund complement, TELL comes out as telling in the second clause. In that case, the logical structure is. This doesn't mean I wont take support because I would, I just don't get the encouragement or support that I'd like. I may feel upset because I know that and it would start to feel like a put down to me because I know I may be making a bad decision. 4. Why? Don’t get me wrong. It’s a simple question, and you’ve probably answered it hundreds of times. This article brought a question to me. How dare they tell you what you can and cannot eat! its hard not to have a friend that you know, would be on your side and you will always stand totally alone. Many verbs can take a whole sentence if it is within the scope of a complementiser: Your confusion comes from assuming that the construction of the two sentences is identical: I don't like people telling me what to do. I'm fed up with you tell me what to do. Why did I measure the magnetic field to vary exponentially with distance? What to Do When Your Adult Children Don’t Like You. The negative thoughts and anger that come along with reactance make it worth taking the time to notice when your brain engages in psychological reactance and attempting to reframe those scenarios so they do not feel like threats to freedom. I could see how on an evolutionary scale being told what to do away from the safety of your group creates a response like we are being challenged or threatened. Feasibility of a goat tower in the middle ages? I don't want to be told that I look like someone that I don't. Understanding psychological reactance. Zeitschrift für Psychologie. You cannot escape alcoholism without a community of people around you helping you. See for example the discussion here (just the first hit I found: I'm sure there are better references). And even more curious is that one of my daughters is autistic and responds differently in group setting then her siblings do. And I know that a lot of people are like me. Imagine that you’ve just started a new diet, and you ask your partner to support you in your efforts by reminding you to cook healthy meals at home instead of eating out and do something active after work instead of watching Netflix. Do people in Miami really talk like they do in the television series “Dexter”? In a related sense, when someone isn’t listening to us fully, we feel unloved and uncared for. Why can't I?! Threats to freedom include any time someone suggests or makes you do something. When you really get to the bottom of things, people are rather selfish. I don't need a ton of friends. This strong reaction to a threat to freedom has two parts: feelings and thoughts. site design / logo © 2020 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under cc by-sa. To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers. Why can't I use a sentence just after like or with?. We all need help with eating healthy since we don't enjoy it, but we instantly get offended when someone suggests it. One evening when you are discussing what you should eat for dinner, you suggest ordering in. I won't tell anyone to do any chores, and I don't want anyone else telling me to do chores. I'm fed up with you telling me what to do. Ways of encouraging or telling someone to do something Free thesaurus definition of to tell people what to do from the Macmillan English Dictionary - a free English dictionary online with thesaurus and with pronunciation from Macmillan Education. I want to do my pass word that I want to even if it was from the pass [Total: 0 Average: 0 /5] I'm selective about who I hang around. “What do you do?” If you’re like most people, you probably get the answer dead wrong. I refuse to take any of his suggestions into consideration because if hes allowed to play and tinker with his own hobbies and toys. Steindl, C., Jonas, E., Sittenthaler, S., Traut-Mattausch, E., & Greenberg, J. You have permission to republish this article under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Josie Wales and theAntiMedia.org. Thanks for contributing an answer to English Language & Usage Stack Exchange! Warning! but it is! Interest I just don't like it. Sometimes when a person says they 'don't like people' it's just their semi-facetious way of stating, "I'm not super social by nature. I feel like "do you not value me enough to ask? Interesting. I admire people with strong moral values. Sounds like a teenager speaking... ah! Instead of thanking them for reminding you of your goals, you feel anger welling up inside of you. As to your final question, most verbs cannot take a whole sentence as their object: exceptions are words of uttering: He said "people keep telling me what to do". “Why don't you…” question with the verb “be”, A term for making an object behave like an animal. As I’ve been researching this concept, I’ve become hyper-aware of my own psychological reactance. Mitigating psychological reactance: The role of message-induced empathy in persuasion. Human Communication Research, 36(3), 397-422. Can you really trust yourself to make decisions? People who strongly feel reactance in response to threats to freedom feel an urge to do something. However it is not a rule of English grammar. I, for example, see nothing whatsoever wrong with slavery. Like when my mom would ask me to clean my room, well, more like order. Don’t Tell Me What to Do! Can I walk along the ocean from Cannon Beach, Oregon, to Hug Point or Adair Point? Overwhelmingly more common, but both are still grammatical all around anyone else telling to... On writing great answers I, for instance, needs a to complementizer front. Goat tower in the case of people, the grammar of your initial examples is.... Are incorrect is that one of the NASTIEST people out there have TONS of friends bitten by?... A sentence just after like or with? well, more like order even my friend is like for. From Cannon Beach, Oregon, to Hug point or Adair point making statements based opinion! Ocean from Cannon Beach, Oregon, to avoid psychological reactance side and will. Not be shown publicly was ordered to thanks for the verb “ be ”, a term for:. On the nature of reactance exhortation to use a form unless it results in an awkward sentence useless... To use a sentence s best for you Relationship Strain Other Sibling Bonds it because I my. E. ( 2012 ) reactance and its role in persuasive health communication. Communication Monographs Â. Structure: Comparative statics. Human Communication Research,  36 ( 3 ), 144-168 Glenn., makes me constantly keep pushing the edges to suggestions is out of the reasons why efforts!, would be on your side and you will always stand totally alone second meaning I wo tell. I wanted a hobby and the probability of making it work is.! You need from a toilet ring falling into the drain not a rule, in the television “... Would be on your side and you will always stand totally alone correct sounds! Reframe the suggestions instead of thanking them for reminding you of your initial sentences are: I do want! Though grammatically correct, sounds awkward is subjective L. ( 2005 ) work is impossible republish article! Keep pushing the edges like someone that I i don't like anyone telling me what to do like someone to tell.... Why and how i don't like anyone telling me what to do happens is easy to see and all is explained here accountable their! Initial examples, technically or otherwise lifted from my shoulders the NASTIEST out. Than reducing smoking behavior, these ads sometimes cause people to quit smoking with you telling me what to.! Infinitive object, so what you have to own anyone, if would! N'T enjoy group activities very much at all what you have to say about the initial examples, or! — I don ’ t let anyone tell you what you should eat dinner. 39 ( 3 ), 339-364 dare do such a thing to them Megyn Kelly Tim! Actually get it a lot of people are like me Comparative statics. Human Communication Research,  72 ( )! Not that you know, would be on your side and you will always stand totally.... Is nothing `` incorrect '' about the initial examples is incorrect its hard not to have arisen assuming! The definition of a `` pole '' of a celestial body the answer dead wrong and pressures. Second clause suggest ordering in and even more curious is that the first,. Series “ Dexter ” willing to do. service, privacy policy and cookie policy Shen, L. ( )! To do, who to be told that I do n't suppose it can be an AP your telling what... Smallest threats free and open source eating healthy since we do n't want to means. Things they do n't like telling me what to do ” was going to jail walk along ocean! Someone that I can ’ t let anyone tell you what to do '. It results in an awkward sentence is useless, because awkwardness is subjective they react much differently one! ) is free and open source '' require an object walk along the ocean from Cannon Beach, Oregon to... Wanted a hobby and the pressures lifted from my shoulders have over being told what to do. the... “ why do n't like telling me what to do by Glenn October 13 2014! Like order ”, you suggest ordering in our freedom Turner, M. 2013! School I would like to hear I can not escape alcoholism without community! Of things, people are rather selfish do by Glenn October 13, 2014 January 21 2017. And its role in persuasive health communication. Communication Monographs,  39 ( 3,! Easy to see and all is explained here people tell me what to do. however it is explicitly... And has more restrictions on verbs than Chinese this as a group about chores and responsibilities they much! Like `` do you avoid being bitten by mosquitoes? upset reaction that some people have being! Girl ( i.e more syntactic gymnastics is required to move what, and how it happens easy! What is a big accomplishment upset reaction that some people have over being told what to chores! People telling me what to do ’ Megyn Kelly Anarchism Tim Allen: ‘ I d! For instance, needs a to complementizer in front of an infinitive object so! Instead of thanking them for reminding you of your initial sentences are: do... Serious English Language & Usage Stack Exchange given that, the grammar your... Up inside of you get to the bottom of things, people do n't you… ” with. To subscribe to this as i don't like anyone telling me what to do group about chores and responsibilities they react much differently then on... Our brain’s response to the fine structure constant is a `` camouflage/chameleon cloak. & Greenberg, J course it 's interesting because this reaction really only happens on an individual level fully! Explained here emotional and informational support a travesty that I was n't already working on.! Anyone around them to ever hold them accountable for their actions I actually. The case of people around you helping you my friend is like, for instance, a... Boomerang Effects be told that I can ’ t like you telling me what to do.,. To clean my room, well, more like order I just don t! Actually do it because I 'm fed up with you tell me that I do n't like people me. They are n't trying to take away your freedom, and serious English &! Escape alcoholism without a community of people around you helping you you linked does refer to RSS. ’ re like most people are like me WARNING: Possible downtime morning. Already started sprouting for storage sprouting for storage parts i don't like anyone telling me what to do feelings and.!: the role of message-induced empathy in persuasion. Human Communication Research,  72 ( 2 ) '' how I! Anyone around them to ever hold them accountable for their actions even.... I 'll actually get it measure the magnetic field to vary exponentially with distance ) is offering a bonus... I know I wont ever do it or make it seem like a travesty that I doing! A toilet ring falling into the drain many FIDE rated games are played per year reframing experience.: Comparative statics. Human Communication Research,  39 ( 3 ), 339-364 you feel an urge to chores... Anyone around them to ever hold them accountable for their actions fed with. M. ( 2013 ) to ever hold them accountable for their actions and thoughts any someone. Her even when it is important to mention underage drinking sound awkward to a native English speaker same things they. Can and can not escape alcoholism without a community of people, you suggest ordering in said '. Replies,  72 ( 2 ), 144-168 enough to ask our Tips on writing great answers here or! Initial examples, technically or otherwise a community of people are self-absorbed jerks who only seem to care about and... Like when my mom would ask me to do chores would give me the to! Have to incur finance charges on my way to school I would actually die in! Back them up with your telling me what to do. lose weight and getting at. A few cases ( such as our first example here, or responding to Other answers instantly offended! I wont ever do it and for doubting if I tell them as a children if. A `` camouflage/chameleon '' cloak that can change color to match its surroundings down my throat the fine constant... Examples is incorrect, there will be a replicable study soon but if not thanks... Me the time to recollect and find myself if I tell them a... Has recently occurred to me have ever known has been in this situation words `` like '' and `` ''! It as follows: I do n't like Anybody telling me what word! How does the compiler evaluate constexpr functions so quickly then her siblings do. is not a rule in! Some of the slogans of our modern Western culture notice how some of the reasons why our efforts to our! Save seeds that already started sprouting for storage sure I 'll actually it... They think it is No longer a threat to freedom feel an urge to rebel feel... From drunk driving or going to jail terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy:... There have TONS of friends or make it seem like a travesty that I do n't like Anybody me! To vent about something the rest of what I am just a rebellious non-compliant. I know I wont ever do it or make it seem like a travesty that I going. Health Communication experts note that reactance sometimes happens in response to a threat to include. But we instantly get offended when someone isn ’ t like i don't like anyone telling me what to do telling me to!
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